Select Page

A person’s personality means his or her behaviour and character traits.

In the frist part we had a look into the sence of knowing my personality and the personality of my partner. Wes poke about human-oriented and fact-oriented people and theier examples from the TV series Big Bang Theory. Now let’s get deeper:

These 4 personality types are taken from the DISG model.

1. The Initiative Type
So there are people who are extroverted and people-oriented. We call them the initiatives guys. These are the “hello, here I am” people. They always have many ideas, talk a lot, laugh a lot, are often the class comedian. They care a lot about other people’s opinions.
In the Big Bang Theory series: Howard. Or alternatively Penny.
If you don’t know the Big Bang Theory, you can find exactly the same four guys on the A-Team. In this case, the womanizer Face would stand next to Howard.

2. The Dominate Type
Then there are the extroverted, who are not human-oriented, but more factual. We call them the dominant types. Sheldon, or A-Team boss Hannibal.
These people are the leaders, the decision-makers. For them, the project and the goal are always more important than pleasing people.

3. The Steady Type
Then we have the introvert side. Here are the introverted and people-oriented guys. We call them the steady ones. Steady people are not in the foreground, the team and friends are important to them. Besides, they need harmony, they can’t stand quarrels. We got Leonard here from Big Bang and A-Team Murdock.

4. The Conscientious Type
And finally the introverted side, which is fact-oriented. We call them conscientious.
The typical representatives are Raj (or alternatively Amy) and from A-Team B.A..
The conscientious feel most comfortable when they can work alone. They don’t like people around them very much. They are the nerds and analysts, the scientists and technology freaks, the people who like to work alone in the garden or the garage.

Now you might be someone who finds yourself in two different areas. That could be. Like I said, I recommend you take a personality test with your partner. From my own experience I can tell you that your eyes open!

Strengths and weaknesses

It is important that each of these personalities has different strengths and weaknesses. There is no good or bad personality. Here is an overview of the strengths and weaknesses of the 4 personality types:

1. The Initiative type
The initiative guy, you remember, they were in our picture Howard and Penny or A-Team Face:
The initiative type, the human-oriented and extroverted type, is usually an optimist. He turns chaos into fun. He is spontaneous and inspiring. The initiative guy can quickly apologize and is an open book. He is popular and quickly takes on new tasks.
His weaknesses are that he is little organized, can be moody and often doesn’t finish the started things. He is impatient and often has no clear priorities. If he’s rejected, he gets insecure.

2. The Dominate Type
The dominant guy, remember: our examples were Sheldon and Hannibal in the A-Team:
The dominant type, i.e. the fact-oriented and extroverted type, is a doer. He is goal-oriented and can motivate others. He sees the big picture and acts quickly when necessary. He doesn’t care if he gets headwind, it even promotes his passion.
His weaknesses are that sometimes he’s too dominant. Besides, he often has no time because of the work, which is very important for him. In a relationship, he can be very demanding and impatient when something is not going according to plan. Apologies are hard for him.

3. The Steady Type
The steady type, our examples are Leonard from Big Bang and Murdock from A-Team.
The steady type, who is human-oriented and introverted, is a pleasant and entertaining person. He avoids quarrels, is friendly and a good listener. The steady can rarely be disturbed. He is a good friend and mediates when problems arise.
His weaknesses are that he is overwhelmed by change. He discourages others quickly and dampens any enthusiasm. He does not act goal-oriented and has little inner motivation. Besides, he’s sarcastic and tends to convict the other.

4. The Conscientious Type
The conscientious guy, you remember? Raj and B.A.:
The conscientious type, who is fact-oriented and introverted, acts rather in the background. He’s promoting his partner. This guy sees the problems and keeps looking for solutions. The conscientious person wants everything to be done right and sets high standards.
His weaknesses are that he often expects too much. If something’s imperfect, he’s depressed. He usually takes too long to start something, and he’s too accurate. Emotionally he is very reserved and resentful of mistakes. Besides, he’s very insecure about other people.

So you see, every guy has his weaknesses and strengths. There’s no such thing as a good guy or a bad guy. If you have problems with your partner’s personality, it’s two things:
First, you should find out the personality of yourself and your partner. Get an overview of what the strengths and weaknesses are.
And secondly, every personality naturally has certain difficulties with other personalities.


An example

Let’s assume you are a steady type, a reserved person, a team player, for whom harmony is incredibly important. Then you get to know an extremely self-confident person who is always in the spotlight and who doesn’t care what people think about him. Then you may fall in love with this very quality, because you yourself often struggle with human fear. You are enthusiastic about the self-confident nature of your partner. After a few years, however, when the first infatuation is over, you notice that your partner is also very demanding. If he has an opinion, he can fight it out at any cost. But then that collides with your need for harmony.
And whoops, we’re having a relationship crisis.

And what can you do?
Find out what personality type your partner is. Think about what you love most about your partner. What are his strengths? What do you admire about your partner, what are you grateful for?
Be aware of that.
And then talk to your partner about the things, the weaknesses you’re struggling with. Your partner will try to help yourself so that you can live with these weaknesses. He will try not to leave out the difficult sides of his personality on you.
And of course you should do the same for your partner.

Best you do it together. It’s a real adventure when you discover your two personalities. You will then be able to understand your previous relationship much better, you will often laugh at the connections you were not aware of and you will learn to love each other anew!

Read part 1: Lifelong – Personality in partnership part 1