In part 1we spoke a lot about values. This part is about dreams.
The dreams of your life are strongly influenced by your values.
If your most important values are adventure, courage and optimism, then your life dreams will look different than if you call discipline, calm and modesty your most important values.
This is all to be understood please without evaluation. Every person is different and this diversity is a gift.
There’s an old saying: “opposites attract”. And indeed, you often feel attracted to your partner precisely because he is so different in some ways. However, certain areas of life should have a common basis.
It’s no problem at all if one of you is more extroverted, the other more introverted. It is also completely okay if one partner has more scientific interests and the other is a language genius, or one is a technical nerd and the other an athlete.
But it’ll be difficult when your dreams fall apart. For example, if one does not want children, the other prefers a whole soccer team.
In sport there is the term “duty and freestyle”.
The duty is always the standard program, which the athletes have to deliver and the freestyle is the own creation, which is of course much more fun for the athletes.
You can understand the topic of values and dreams in a similar way.
You have now bitten your way through duty, you have thought about your values. If you understand that, you can go to the free program: To the dreams of life!
What are your lifelong dreams?
The first way to discover your life dreams is to ask yourself the following question:
What would I do if time and money didn’t matter at all and I knew it would work?
You and your partner can ask yourself this question over a nice dinner. It’s always very exciting what comes out of it!
After you have asked this question, there is a second question that is a bit more long-term oriented:
Imagine being old and looking back on your life. Then what would you like to see?
If one imagines looking back at old age, then the things that should make our lives permanent become clear. Our deepest desires then come out.
Here’s some food for thought:
Is your life’s dream to own a beautiful big house of your own?
-Or is your life’s dream to travel to all the countries of the world?
-Do you want to go to Africa as a missionary?
-Or would you like to set up your own company?
-Is your life’s dream to run a ward for orphans one day?
-Or would you like to have many children of your own?
-Do you want to program your own app?
-Or has your life’s dream always been to own a horse or an entire farm?
-Have you always wanted to learn Spanish? Tango dancing? —Change the world? Become Chancellor? Plant a church? Own a –Ferrari? Play in a music band? Win the Super Bowl?
Dreams of life are called dreams of life because they make us dream. Ask someone about his life’s dream, and his face will change. He’ll smile and be able to tell you exactly how he imagines it.
There is one sentence in the Bible that fits very well with our life dreams:
“What is impossible for men, is possible for God!” (from the Gospel of Luke)
Write down your life dreams and ask your partner about his life dreams. And finally: find your common life dreams.
What are the things that are supposed to make you a couple?
What do you want to achieve together?
What do you both want?
What do you both want to look back on when you’re both old?
It will weld you together to be together on the way to your life dreams.