In part 1 we looked at the different challenges of time in partnership and worked on the time management matrix.
Now to the 3-step model.
Whatever the problem, it gets really difficult when the two partners have different attitudes about how much time they want to spend together as a couple. In this case, you should start with the basic beliefs:
I have brought you here a 3-step model of how you could approach the issue of time for yourself personally but also for your partnership.
Step 1: You should personally clarify for yourself what is really important to you and what is less important.
If you attend a time management seminar, one of the first tasks is to find out what your priorities are in life. So what really means a lot to you, what is actually rather unimportant.
It always helps to write a list.
What are the really important things in your life?
You can also do this as a ranking. First place, second place, third place etc. That helps.
Then you should think about it:
What are your goals?
Your goals for the next 5 or 10 years?
And what will your life be like when you look at it in 50 years?
You will find that some things that seem incredibly important to you in everyday life are no longer of great importance with such a list. And if you have a time problem, you could start cutting at this point.
Step 2: How would your optimal day go?
Just realize what a normal day of the week would look like best. And then think what a weekend would have to look like to be really good.
You should keep the thoughts of the first step in mind. If you are now thinking that all you want to do is lie on the sofa all Saturday, then take the first step and see if you can achieve the things you want.
And think about your week in general. Do your appointments match what you want to achieve?
For example, if you spend 12 hours a week at work every day, maybe even on Saturday, but actually wish yourself a happy marriage and family, then you will have some problems getting it together.
You need to prioritize. For example, if it is not possible for you to reduce your working time, then it is important that your partner has priority in your free time and in your holiday arrangements. But maybe you can also change your workload, delegate more or say no.
And finally, you can take a look at your annual plan.
Is there anything you could do for yourself?
Maybe take a trip? Maybe meet old acquaintances? Maybe take a class?
Do you want to graduate next year? Or get married?
Step 3: Talk to your partner and revise your plan
When you have become clearer about your goals and your timing, you should share your thoughts with your partner.
• What’s important to him? What to you?
• What role does your partnership play? What are your common goals?
• Where are fundamental differences, where are commonalities?
• How can you find a solution together that makes both of you happy?
The goal should always be that you do not have 2 different schedules, but a common one. Of course, everyone has their own area, work, family, etc..
But on the whole, it would be great if you could work together to shape your lives, your goals and your time management.
And don’t forget that both partners have desires and ideals. So if one person only wants to spend one day a week together and the other person prefers to spend every day together, then there is a centre with which both partners are happy. After all, each of you is an individual who should not dissolve under any circumstances.
The goal is: From way 1 and way 2 you make together way 3.